I was standing on the second-floor landing of a hotel lobby waiting for my wife. I knew she was coming soon, so I just stood there.
I wasn’t looking at my phone … I wasn’t walking around … I was just standing there.
Suddenly, I heard a door unlock and immediately realized I was directly in front of somebody’s room.
Uh oh.
I didn’t want to run away as if I had been deliberately lurking. But I couldn’t just stand there either without looking like someone who had been deliberately lurking.
Fortunately, there was a big map on the wall next to the door. So in an instant (I move quickly when panicked), I leaned towards it and put my finger on it. You know, as if I had been studying it for innocent, information-gathering purposes.
A split second later a young woman emerged (I was so hoping for an old man), at which point, to bolster my non-lurking case, I blurted, “Wow, there sure are a lot of mountains around here!”
She looked at me with the same confused and slightly annoyed look I have been getting from young women my entire life, and kept walking.
Now here’s the thing. I wasn’t doing anything wrong… but I kind of looked like maybe I was. So I took steps to clear up any potential confusion.
And that, my slightly annoyed friend, is today’s ingenious metaphor that explains how writers need to behave in our increasingly AI-infested world.
Your AI Problem
The problem with AI-written content is not that it’s bad. It isn’t. It’s clear, well-organized, and grammatically correct.
No, the problem is that like Shaboozey songs, it’s all starting to sound the same.
For reasons I don’t quite understand, all the AI’s approach written language in the same way. They use similar phrasing. They use similar rhythm. They use similar transitions.
For example, the use of three nearly identical short sentences in a row I just subjected you to is a common AI tell.
Another is the overuse of “em dashes,” those wider-than-a-hyphen horizontal lines joining two thoughts together. Often–but not always–like this.
There are many more.
All this sameness is something people are starting to notice – even if not consciously. The more predictable everything is, the more they tune it out, eventually ignoring it completely. (Insert a joke about your husband here.)
But so what? You’re a professional writer. You don’t use AI in your work.
That’s fine. I don’t use it to write either.
But not using it doesn’t get us off the hook with readers – they don’t know we write every word from scratch.
All they know is how much or how little we sound like we do.
Know Your Enemy
I’ve spoken to plenty of writers who are happy to bend my ear (no easy task; see photo) explaining why AI-written content is unethical, unremarkable, and fundamentally evil. (It may even be linked to the recent and uncomfortable rise in young men with moustaches, but I can’t be sure.)
Again, that’s fine. But true or not, you can’t afford to close your eyes to it.
If you don’t know what it looks like, you have no way of knowing if you have inadvertently begun sounding like it.
To the extent that’s the case, you probably need to make some adjustments.
Because take it from me, loitering outside someone’s hotel room door looks suspicious, even if you’re just standing there.
Discussion Questions:
- Do you love the word “lurking” as much as I do?
- What’s the longest you’ve ever waited for a spouse or partner?
- Do you use AI in your writing?
Share your answers below…
The word, “lurking” describes the actions of a lurker so well, don’t you think? And, it’s fun to say!!!
Waiting for a partner….stilll waiting. Ha! I worked with a business partner when I lived in CA. He became increasingly ‘disturbed’ and one day when i went to the office, it was locked. He would not answer his phone. Went into complete hiding. Never heard from him from that day forward. No one could reach him. He owed me thousands which I never recovered. 25 years ago..still waiting. Not really. I gave up.
Yes, fun to say. Although I find saying “lurking lurker” three times fast nearly impossible.
One of my biggest gripes about AI is that it has forced me to give up my decades-old use of the em dash. The last time I felt so robbed of personal expression is when Miami Vice became a hit show in the 1980s, and detective Sonny Crockett’s signature stubble forced my habitually unshaven face into hiding, lest I be looked at as a Don Johnson wannabe. Grrrrr.
More seriously, I use AI to critique my writing, not to create it. Nor do I even allow AI to initiate a brainstorm session. In other words, I never let AI go first — that’s how I preserve my voice. (See what I did there.)
I hear you on the em dash, but I would have to give up writing if I stopped using it, I love it so much. I have noticed, however, that AI leaves no gaps-like this-which i find hard to read and never use, so maybe that will keep me out of trouble!
3. No*
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*unless forced to rephrase something on Alignable so they will post it. Total hassle, but only way through
Same. (Didn’t know alignable was even still a thing!)
1. I prfer slink to lurk.
2. 40 years (for the right one)
3. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Indeed, slinking is fun as well!
1. I think it’s more fun to use “loitering” and “lurking” is a close second.
2. After a few weeks, I stopped counting and broke up with him.
3. No. I cringe whenever I try it.
Good for you on #2!
1. I love the word Lurking. It’s what I do most of the time on Facebook.
2. I honestly don’t remember ever waiting for my spouse. I expect he can’t say the same thing about me.
3. The only time I use AI in my writing is when a suggestion is offered to me that truly sounds better than what I have already written. Sometimes AI helps to clarify what I am trying to say. But if not, I just ignore it.
I can see that it would be a good souding board in that way.
As a writer I use as a thinking tool, part-time editor, brainstorm and help me come up with a crappy first draft to get an idea or thoughts out of my head. I’ve found it sometimes help me see a new angle on something or widen my point of view.
I’m a former bodybuilder and powerlifter – there is still a debate about free weights vs machines. I enjoy free weights, however, I do use machines it’s an either or, instead its finding the right mix for you. That is the way I treat AI.
That’s a helpful analogy!
I hired a really good handyman who had quit his job as a stockbroker because he wanted to do an honest day’s work measured in results for his clients. He was very happy and fulfilled the Tuesday he came to my house to install some cabinets. “Sorry I couldn’t come yesterday,” he said. “I’m always swamped on Monday. I spend the entire day fixing the plumbing or electrical work the ‘man of the house’–sorry gentlemen, that was a direct quotation, followed by an em-dash–“had decided wasn’t that complicated and he could do it himself to save money.” I am an editor, and when my clients use AI, I feel like a licensed plumber on Monday morning. AI does indeed focus their attention on what they want to say, and it seems like a good idea at the time; but somehow the smart clients realize there’s still a leak here and there. AI is great with writing outlines or generating mere words. But it’s not nearly so good at telling the stories that inspire decisions. So I guess I really do “use” AI after all. . . for referrals. (Did you question that use of the ellipsis?)
That’s a great comparison, Marty (did AI suggest it?). On a similar note, I recently listened to an interview with a master electrician talking about his work. He said if the customer he visits has an electrical engineer in the family, things are generally “fixed” in a way that is dangerous and out of code beyond belief!
No, AI didn’t suggest it. But it will by next week, then copyright it, make it into a trademarked meme, then sue infringers.
1. “Lurking” sounds evil…I prefer “Skulking”
2. I waited 28 years to meet the love of my life…does that count?
3. I use AI to play with ideas and see what sticks…and I will give up my ellipses and em-dashes when they tear my cold dead fingers off of the keyboard!
I’m with you on the em dashes. And yes, 28 years is a long time to wait for the love of your life (although my wfe claims she’s been waiting even longer).