He was standing right there when I stepped out of my car.
“How do you like your Chevy Bolt?”
I said, “Don’t get me started. I love it.”
He asked me a bunch more questions, I told him what I knew, we shook hands, and we went our separate ways.
Does any of this strike you as odd? Maybe it should.
Because at the end of a conversation that didn’t even last 10 minutes, I touched a perfect stranger by shaking hands.
Isn’t that kind of bizarre? I didn’t even kiss my future wife until the third date and here I am rubbing body parts with some guy in a parking lot.
Sure, back in the Middle Ages (or whenever) when handshakes supposedly served to demonstrate you were not carrying a weapon, they may have been useful. (Although even then, I’m not so sure, since … surprise! … the dagger is in my left hand.)
But today, when even most lefties are unarmed, handshakes serve no practical purpose.
And yet, they are so common that when saying hello, saying good-bye, or meeting another person for the first time (especially when it’s two men), they are expected.
The truth is, handshakes are just one example of the many unnecessary but uniquely human things that pepper our daily lives, whether that’s cakes with birthday candles, clinking glasses in a toast, or the New York Mets.
They are not practical; they just feel good. And they bring us closer together.
Your Marketing Needs More Handshakes
As I work with clients on their newsletters, presentations, special reports, and other essential communications, there always comes a point at which we talk about “the personal stuff.”
That is, how much of it to share.
Most people, if not extremely reluctant, are at the very least, unconvinced of the value of sharing personal information in a business context.
Talk about my day, my kids, my dog, my new sneakers, or my Chevy Bolt in a personal setting? Absolutely.
“But this is business. And my clients are busy people. I don’t want to waste their time.”
I get it.
But believe me, my clients – and their clients and prospects who are the recipients of their newsletters and other communications – are just as smart, busy, successful, and high-powered as anyone on your list.
And it’s these little personal side trips that generate the most comments and positive reactions.
Because if those on the receiving end are human (granted, these days, who can be sure), this is the stuff that shakes them out of their fact-based, information-seeking-trance and makes them sit up and take notice.
It’s precisely because our personal lives are filled with pleasant but unnecessary and trivial chit chat that when it shows up in the midst of “business,” it stands out and grabs our attention.
In recent months, for example, I’ve had clients – serious, top-drawer, no-nonsense, I’m running out of adjectives to describe these people – write newsletters in which they talked about how they broke their ankle, problems with their Amazon order, or scuba diving with sharks.
That’s not all they talked about. But when you marry useful information with your unique experiences (the only thing unique about your entire business, frankly), you differentiate yourself while reinforcing a human connection.
Which leads to curiosity … which is around the corner from familiarity … which is just a stone’s throw from trust … which lives right next door to a check appearing in your mailbox.
Can you go too far with this personal stuff? Sure.
But in 25 years of helping people with their communications, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to ask a client to decrease the length of their story or the amount of personal information they share. (I don’t actually need my hands to count; it’s just an expression.)
More often than not, I’m pushing them to reveal more.
Here’s the bottom line.
With each passing day, the sum total of our experience and knowledge is becoming more of a commodity. AI is working 24/7 to see to that.
So if you want people to notice, like, trust, and maybe even hire you, you might want to start shaking a few more hands.
Discussion Questions:
- When was the last time you shook hands with someone (yes, pets count)?
- In which hand do you hold your dagger?
- What useful but seemingly unnecessary things do you do in your work (extra credit if you are a member of Congress)?
Share your answers below…
Truly enjoy your newsletters and sage advice. Thanks for The Beatles clip. It was a fun way-back ride.
I agree! You can actually see that entire concert on YouTube. Really good, especially the audio quality which, for the Beatles, often has way too much screaming in the background!
No hands needed to count? I knew you were smart!
I didn’t say I don’t use my feet, Vaughn.
1. It was a same-age fellow parishioner at a Catholic Church social. We’d never met before but had a long exchange that was mostly humorous. Having shared that, he found me an hour later when he left, reminded me of his name, and we shook hands. I had no negative reactions. However, here’s something about “hands” I heard decades ago and never forgot. It’s from a serious study of hygiene. “DNA samples revealed more fecal matter on supermarket cart handles than on toilets in public bathrooms.” 2. I don’t but definitely look at the other guy’s hands before shaking. Then, as I do leaving supermarkets, I sometimes seek out sanitizer or soap. 3. Oddly enough, I’m sometimes cautioned not to smile. “Reveals weakness.” 🙂
Sounds like you are practicing smart hygiene!!
1. I shook hands with a student. That doesn’t happen very often. I’m more likely to get a hug than a handshake.
2. I keep my dagger at home. My campus is a no-dagger zone. *shrug*
3. I’m an academic advisor at my local community college. I talk to students all day, and telling them stories in between helping them pick their classes and envision their future has been very useful, although unnecessary. It builds a connection, it fosters trust. Just like what you wrote about in your newsletter.
Your students are lucky to have you!