Yearly Archives: 2019

The Joke’s On You

As is often the case with this kind of thing, the opportunity arrived without warning. Here’s what happened… It was last month and we were visiting our daughter, Emily, in Portland, Oregon. I was standing at the front counter of the Next Adventure store, attempting to make a purchase. In one hand, I held a jacket that my wife wanted. In the other, I held a tie-dye T-shirt. I said to the young man behind the counter: “The guy in […] Click to read more…

 

It’s Not Me, It’s You

My son Evan can juggle five balls (simultaneously). My daughter Emily finished a half marathon with an average speed of 8:04 per mile. My son Jonathan is lead singer in a band that won “Battle of the Bands” two years in a row at his college. Do you care? I didn’t think so. You’ve got your own life. And while reading about the skills and accomplishments of other people’s children might occasionally be interesting, it’s not something you’re likely to […] Click to read more…

 

Georgia On My Mind

I don’t mean to frighten you, but I’ve got $45 worth of fresh peaches in the back seat of my car. Is it because I love peaches? Not especially. I’m not even sure they’d make it onto my top three “All-Time Fruit” list. Rather, it’s because the “Georgia Peach Truck” arrived today at our nearby garden center and my wife, Linda, asked me to go over and pick some up. And, since the Georgia Peach Truck only sells peaches in increments of “crate,” I […] Click to read more…

 

Beantown

I don’t want to overstate things, but were it not for my wife, Linda, I would have died years ago.  Why? Because that woman eats healthy food.  And, since we live in the same house, my “bad” food opportunities are severely limited.  Red meat? You won’t find any in our refrigerator.  Soda? Only the kind that goes in a gin and tonic.  Sugary cereals? White bread? Slim Jims?  No, no and you must be joking. But it’s not just that we avoid the […] Click to read more…

 

Lost In Translation

It’s been ten years since I last checked voicemail.  Is it because I don’t care what you have to say?  No. It’s because I use a cool service called YouMail which, among other things, sends me a text alert with a full transcription of every voice message I receive.  It’s not one hundred percent accurate and its refusal to transcribe obscenities means that most messages left by my brother Al are nearly impossible to follow. But it’s pretty good.  The other day, […] Click to read more…